I’m Taking a Social Media Timeout. Here’s Why.

I think it’s fair to say that the tide has been turning on social media over the last few years. It feels like not that long ago that most people saw social media in a positive light as a way to connect with others, be more informed and share snippets of their lives. These days, social media is receiving more and more criticism and is often blamed for many of the problems our society faces.

I’ve had mixed feelings about social media for several years now.

I love how it connects me with people all over the world – especially people who have similar priorities and values. Who knows? If it weren’t for social media, I might still think I’m the only woman who doesn’t dream of marriage and kids. Connecting with like-minded people has been an important part of my journey, and I’m very grateful that social media has enabled that.

I also like that social media makes it easy to stay connected with my real-life friends and family. Though unfortunately, that is less and less the case, given most people seem to be sharing very little these days. But some still do, and I always appreciate seeing a glimpse of their life.

For me, social media is also an easy way to switch off. Scrolling through Instagram Reels at the end of a busy day is an easy way to switch off and be entertained for a while. It’s a bit of a guilty pleasure ;)

Last but not least, social media has also given me a platform through which I’ve been able to reach new readers for my books and blog, which I’m incredibly grateful for.

Despite all this, I’ve found myself struggling more and more with social media lately.

A lot of the content that used to feel entertaining, uplifting and inspiring now often leaves me feeling deflated and weirdly distraught. I don’t know if the content has changed or my perception of it. Either way, these days, more often than not, I feel worse after spending some time on social media than I did before.

There seems to be so much hate and negativity – especially in the comments. The way people are bullying and attacking others they have most likely never even met makes me lose faith in humanity sometimes. And then I think about how difficult and sad someone’s life would have to be for them to feel like the only way they can feel better about themselves is by putting down strangers on social media. And then I just feel sad for humanity. I know I shouldn’t look at the comments, but sometimes I can’t help myself.

At the same time, so much content seems to be designed for the one and only purpose of offending, dividing and creating outrage. Content creators and brands say and show things they know are wrong or will lead to outrage because they know that leads to people commenting – and more comments means more reach.

I feel like all this is increasingly impacting my perception of life.

For example, I sometimes find myself in situations where I feel like people judge and maybe discriminate against me for the life choices I’ve made – in particular, being childfree and single by choice. But what is that based on? The truth is, I cannot remember a single incident where I’ve been openly judged or discriminated against for these reasons. That’s not to say that it didn’t happen or isn’t happening to others. My point is that my lived experience should not really leave me feeling that way.

Social media, on the other hand, gives me lots of reasons to feel that way. Every time I scroll through Instagram Reels or Facebook, I see at least one or two stories from someone who was judged, criticised or even bullied because of their choice to be childfree and/or single. That’s obviously sad and shouldn’t happen! However, it’s not my lived experience.

So, while it’s true that without social media, I might still think I’m the only woman who chooses to live this way, I might also not think twice about it because it never occurred to me that it’s something I could be judged for.

Similarly, I often feel like the world is so hostile and full of hate these days. But I can’t remember the last time I encountered extreme negativity or hate in real life. It exists, of course. But it hasn’t been a significant feature of my life. So why do I feel like there is a lot of hate in the world? Because I see it on social media every day.

All of this has made me wonder what life would be like without social media.

How would I feel if it’s based purely (or at least primarily) on my lived experience and not on what I see on social media (that, let’s be honest, may or may not be real)?

Would the world feel more positive? More inclusive and more welcoming? Would I be less worried about how others perceive me and my choices?

On top of all that is the time factor. According to the Screentime app on my phone, I spend an average of about an hour on social media every day. For someone like me who values time more than anything else and always feels like there is never enough time, that’s significant.

What else could I be doing with that time?

For all these reasons, I’ve decided to take a 28-day social media timeout.

In the past, I’ve set limits for how much time I can spend on social media, which has been really good for me. Now, I want more.

I’m curious to see what life is like without social media.

I’m curious to see what I will do with the extra time. I’m curious to see what thoughts and ideas emerge when I don’t have social media to entertain myself whenever I have any downtime. I’m curious to see how I feel when it’s all just based on what happens in the real world and not the increasingly fake world of social media.

I still see the good in social media, too. My goal is not to step away from it permanently. I just want to experience and remember what life is like without it.

I will delete Facebook and Instagram from my phone (I’m keeping Messenger since that’s more of a communications app than social media) and not share any posts for 28 days (starting 8pm on Monday 10 June NZT). I will check Facebook once a week in my browser mainly because there are a couple of events coming up that I want to join, and I want to make sure I don’t miss the details. However, other than that, I will go entirely without social media for four weeks.

I’ll let you know what happens :)

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